A Christmas Present for You

In celebration of the birth of our Lord (AKA the Christian Church declaring the birth of Jesus on a day that coincided with the pagan festival of midwinter in order to take it over), I am gifting you, my precious readers, a "mixtape" filled with songs that make me very happy and thus will make you happy as well.

The list is as follows:
1. Comfy in Nautica by Panda Bear (my favourite song at the moment).
2. Lover by Devendra Banhart (listen to the lyrics. They're HILARIOUS).
3. Idle Songs by Frog Eyes (possibly the only song by Frog Eyes that's particularly good. Whatever).
4. The Ice Storm by The Go! Team (I can't describe to you how much I love this song).
5. Grounds for Divorce by Wolf Parade (a favourite of mine for some years now).
6. Unsolved Mysteries by Animal Collective (off their amazing new album that I've already talked up lots).
7. Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger by Daft Punk (duh. Best song ever).
8. Up on Your Leopard, Upon the End of Your Feral Days by Sunset Rubdown (Spencer Krug + Me = babies).
9. Galang by M.I.A. (hahahahaha).
10. Plasticities by Andrew Bird (there's no bad mood this song can't fix).

So, there you are, my loves. I suppose this is not really a real update, but you can expect a few in the coming week and a bit as I will be on vacation from my real job and thus will have lots of time for my fake job.

Happy Christmas!

(I mean that in the most secular way possible)

-Jocelyn

The Best and Worst of 2007

As 2007 grinds to a close, it's time to look back and reflect on the wonderful things/crimes against music that were committed this year. So, without further delay, the rundown is as follows:

Best Myspace Find:
Obviously, this award goes to The Last Dinosaur, who friended me on Myspace and quickly became my new favourite unsigned band from Cambridge. These lovely boys have amazing chemistry and impressive songwriting skills. I expect wonderful things from them in the future. Download there song "Home" here.

Worst Myspace Find:
The title of Worst Myspace Find goes to the most annoying band of all time, Science Ninja Team. I actually didn't make it through all four of their songs on Myspace, because they were so bad I was considering flushing my computer down the toilet. I can't even imagine why these guys think what they are doing is a good idea. It's not. Science Ninja Team, for the sake of the world, please stop.

Most Exciting Albums:
5. Kala - M.I.A.

I was surfing the two for $10 bin at HMV when this album came on and I ended up staying in the store just to hear the whole thing. I have been a mild fan of M.I.A. since "Galang" but her new album is really something to talk about. It's refreshing to see someone who is both commercially successful and really good. Keep it up, M.I.A.

4. Alive - Daft Punk

Oh man oh man oh man. I have not heard this entire album yet (come on, Mum! Christmas Present!!!), but what I have heard is enough to make me vomit happiness all over the place. It's pretty messy.

3. Person Pitch - Panda Bear

For those of you who do not know (that includes you, Panda Bear), Panda Bear and I are in love. I'm sure his wife and child will be upset to learn this, but hey, you can't stand in the way of soul mates. It's just not done. Anyway, Person Pitch is amazing. "Comfy in Nautica" is actually possibly the best song I've ever heard, outseating "We Tigers" by Animal Collective. Clearly I only like one kind of music.

2. Smokey Rolls Down Thunder Canyon - Devendra Banhart

I bought Smokey Rolls Down Thunder Canyon on a whim, and three songs in I was (no kidding) jumping up and down and screaming to my roommate that this album was "sooooooo good." It got panned by Pitchfork and was completely missing from their "Top 50 Albums of 2007" list, but they suck and I rule. This album is great. Seriously.

1. Strawberry Jam - Animal Collective

Strawberry Jam is by far Animal Collective's best album yet, which is saying a lot. It's super short, but makes up for it by not having one second of filler. Also, it features my boyfriend, Panda Bear, which is a major plus. I have yet to get tired of listening to this album over and over again. If I didn't have to listen to other music for research purposes, I'm not sure I would. It's just that awesome. Excellent Work, Animal Collective. I can't wait to see what you come up with in 2008.

Most Disappointing Albums:
(It speaks highly of 2007 that I could only come up with four.)
4. Night Falls Over Kortedala - Jens Lekman

Night Falls Over Kortedala is one of those albums that EVERYBODY talks about. Naturally, I assumed that they were talking about it for a reason, like maybe it was good. Not so. Sure, Jens Lekman is original, and his lyrics really are phenomenal. But I really do think he sounds like a bad lounge singer. I guess some people consider that a good thing. Those people are wrong.

3. New Magnetic Wonder - The Apples in Stereo

The Apples in Stereo had FIVE YEARS to come up with some good music and they blew it. Enough said.

2. Places Like This - Architecture in Helsinki

"Heart It Races" spent a whopping three weeks as my favourite song. Those three weeks ended when I went out and bought Places Like This only to discover the rest of the album was crap. Now I'm super pissed at Architecture in Helsinki and can't even listen to "Heart It Races" without hearing "Money You Wasted."

1. Hissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer? - Of Montreal

Hissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer?... Of Montreal was my favourite band until I heard this album and now I barely think about them. From what I've read, this ultra-poppy meaningless garbage with dark, miserable lyrics is the new direction they're going in now, so I doubt I'll be thinking about them much in the future. I don't think there could have been a worse follow-up to The Sunlandic Twins. Seriously, there is one good song ("Suffer for Fashion"). Pitchfork put this album at number five on their "Top Albums of 2007" list, right above Strawberry Jam. I'm not sure how anyone can rank Of Montreal's worst album above Animal Collective's best, but whatever. As I said before, Pitchfork sucks. So does Hissing Fauna.

Best Music Video:
"Heart It Races" by Architecture in Helsinki (misleading! Don't buy the album!)


Worst Music Video:
"Peacebone" by Animal Collective (misleading! Do buy the album!)


Best News:
Ike Turner dies. What an asshole. Have fun in Hell (I picture some Dante-style poetic justice with him getting the shit beaten out of him by Tina Turner. You go girl!).

Worst News:
The Blood Brothers break up. I talk about this in like every other update, that's how upset I am. It's only because I could have seen them this summer and I DIDN'T GO! I never dreamed I would NEVER have another chance. Tragic. Totally.

So that's it for now, I think. Here's to 2008!

-Jocelyn

Christmas Wishlist

So I had this brilliant idea for an update.* I tell everybody what to get their friends and family for Christmas, in what may turn out to be shameless product plugs. So, thus ends the confusion of what to do for Christmas gifts, guys. Check it out:

Dads:

The White Stripes - Icky Thump
It is a commonly known fact that dads love Led Zeppelin. Most dads, however, have already listened to everything by Led Zeppelin so many times in their 50-odd years of existence that they're sick of it. Enter the White Stripes. While not nearly as epic, Jack White (the only member of the White Stripes who matters) has a vaguely Led Zeppelin-esque quality about him. His music is usually, if not always, a throw-back to the straight-up Rock and Roll of our dads' youth. Thus, dads love the White Stripes. Haven't you noticed?

Mums:

Antony & The Johnsons - I Am a Bird Now
I don't know about your mum, but my mum loves gay men and singing black women. Thus, I couldn't think of a better album to get my mum for Christmas than I Am a Bird Now by a singing gay man who sounds like a black woman (note to mum: I am not actually getting you this, as you asked for olives and coctail napkins). This album, I'm sure, would please mothers other than my own. I mean, mums love it when bluesy-sounding dudes sing bluesy-sounding songs. It touches their soul or something.

Geeks:

Daft Punk - Alive
Not that you have to be a geek to like Daft Punk, just that geeks almost definitely do like Daft Punk. Anyway, Alive is an absolutely incredible live (duh) album from these French agoraphobes that anyone who likes Daft Punk even a little bit would probably pee themselves listening to. I'm not a geek (duh), but I definitely want this one for Christmas. Hi Mum!

Really Really Pretentious People:

Sigur Ros - Heima
Really really pretentious people are more apt than the average bear to like Sigur Ros. One can conclude, then, that really really pretentious people are more apt than the average bear to want this super-special DVD recording of various free concerts Sigur Ros played in Iceland in 2006. Whatever floats your boat and finds your lost remote, guys.

Teenage Girls:

Band of Horses - Everything All The Time
Unfortunately for the world, the whole emo thing hasn't really gone out of style with the teenage girls yet. Fortunately for teenage girls, Band of Horses is still doing the whole emo thing. I chose 2006's Everything All the Time over 2007's Cease to Begin because Cease to Begin is like Everything All The Time only not as good. Plus I feel that all teenage girls really just want to subject horny teenage boys to "The Funeral" and then ask them how it makes them feel.**

Teenage Boys:

The Blood Brothers - Young Machetes
Point #1: Teenage boys have a higher tolerance for hardcore than the general population. The Blood Brothers are a way for them to piss off their parents while actually listening to good music.
Point #2: It may seem cruel to give these boys an album by a band that no longer exists, but if there's anybody who's going to go on to bigger and better things, it's the dudes from the Blood Brothers. And, as teenage boys sometimes grow into cool people, they will be better able to appreciate these bigger and better things if they know where they came from.

Emo Kids:

Rivers Cuomo - Alone
Sure, it'll be late (the release date is January 8th), but that will just give your beloved emo kid another reason to be emo. Emo kids love that stuff. They also love Weezer (though nearly always specify OLD Weezer). Thus, they will definitely love this undoubtedly super-emo release from the king of emo himself, Weezer front-man Rivers Cuomo. I mean really, what could be a more emo album title than "Alone?" Alone is what emo kids are (possibly because they're so infuriatingly emo), so they'll definitely love this album.

Hippies:

Bob Marley and the Wailers - Exodus (30th Anniversary Edition)
I'm not sure if you're familiar with the clothing store Roots, but up here in Canada, it's like the best store ever... for tourists (and expats). I used to work there. Anyway, the owners (who are American), spent some time dodging the Vietnam draft down in Jamaica before they came up to Canada instead (I think they heard the pot was better). As a result, the playlist in the stores consists of A LOT of reggae. As a result, I do now and forever will hate reggae. Sorry, reggae. I know it's not your fault, but I just can't listen to you ever again without getting irrationally angry. But there are people who can, and for those people this is a pretty great album.

People With No Taste In Music:

Jens Lekman - Night Falls Over Kortedala
Possibly I'm going to be torn a new asshole for recommending Jens Lekman to people with no taste in music, but I just think his music sucks. His lyrics are great though. This album is definitely for people who are really into lyrics. That's my justification.


Children:

Sufjan Stevens - Songs for Christmas
I can't think of anyone making really good music today who is more kid-friendly than Sufjan Stevens. And really, there's no reason kids can't learn to love good music at an early age. You COULD get them the Spice Girls Greatest Hits album, but you'd be running the risk that they, like me, would still fall victim to the Spice Girls' brilliant marketing schemes at age 20. Don't be like me, kids! Like good music!

Collectors:

Pink Floyd - Oh, By The Way
You'd have to really love this person/be ridiculously wealthy/go in together on this gift with 19 of this person's closest friends to pay $270 for their Christmas gift, but I can't think of a music collector who wouldn't want a boxed set of ALL of Pink Floyd's albums ever, packaged as mini replicas of their records right down to the tiny album sleeves. That's just really cool.

People Whose Taste In Music Transcends What Others Tell Them Is Cool:

U2 - The Joshua Tree Deluxe Edition
For those people willing to admit that U2 was once a great band (despite the obvious fact that they no longer are), The Joshua Tree Deluxe edition is pretty much the best gift ever. Because (duh) The Joshua Tree is pretty much the best album ever. You can't say that in public without running a serious risk of being punched in the face. Anyway, this two disc edition of the BEST ALBUM EVER features all sorts of b-sides and liner notes and anything a fan of THE BEST ALBUM EVER could want. I'll be locking my doors tonight.***

So that's it, guys. Happy Shopping!

-Jocelyn

* - When I say I came up with this idea, what I mean is my mum emailed me to suggest I do a Christmas Wishlist for my blog.
** - Answer: horny. Everything makes teenage boys feel horny. This is a scientific fact.
*** - Yes, mum. I lock my doors EVERY night.